“life will be better in spring”

April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 February 2010 March 2010 April 2010 May 2010 June 2010 July 2010 August 2010 September 2010 October 2010 November 2010 December 2010 February 2011 May 2011 June 2011 July 2011 January 2012

What have i done? Why i cant get my happiness? Issit so hard? When am i gonna see that there's gonna be that one guy thay will love me with all his heart. Show me love, care &concern. I've always been getting heartbreakers. I just want my happiness. Thats all ;( there's this one GUY. The only guy that have made me into a strong lover. To still love and hold on no matter how bad the situation is. We just can't let go of each other. It is super hard. His the first guy that made my dreams came true. Yes..... But it was all in the starting.... Its all now vanished. Everything changed because he became into a guy which love to lie. But still i forgived him in everything. He would just do anything to make me forgive him. But, as days past by. I realised how bad is his attitude. He would lie, beg for forgiveness like fck. But would repeat the old same mistake all over again. Sooo after that it was a cycle of lies then. I just endure endure and endure. Then there is one day that really made me realised that i was just a fool all along. He made me like a fool. Yup his own girlfriend as a fool. I started to read and listen to motivations about love. I decided not to give him the love that i always do. It was okay first.... But even if i changed to the bad side, he didnt realised. He always say he regret regret regret. But nehh. I always have been sacrifising for him ALOT. He just dont realised that i would do anything to help him. Thr was once, i went out in the morning to help him abt smtg and be with him. I got home..... Sooo i was being beaten by my dad. I told him. He didnt ask me whether im alright or not. He didnt ask me if it was pain and whr thr pain is..... Urgh fck it. Everythings in a mess. Im falling out of love. I have to let go even if it hurts. For my ownself. Not to always give face and get myself hurt again. But his the best damn thing that i ever love. His the best i swear. But you changed. I can't do anything to make you change even if i tried SO MANY TIMES, but i fail.... Again and again.





I always get jealous seeing other guys could do anything for their girlfriends even also when they did not do any mistakes but to make sure that the guy meets the girl. To be cautious all the time. To be patient and give love even if the girl is being ego. To never watch the girl cry over him. Would make anything just to see the girl happy.